Open Doors

Borromeo Housing Has a Long History of Helping Young Mothers: Felicia's Story

2011-09-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

Felicia, a 20 year old soon-to-be mom, came to Borromeo Housing 17 years ago seeking a safe place for her and her baby to live. Recently Felicia contacted BHI to reconnect with the organization that helped her out so much. We sat down with her, heard her story, and she even spoke to some of the mothers who are currently in our program. Her son, Amir, is now almost 17 years old and a senior in high school, who is beginning to look at 4 year colleges. We hope that one day, the moms who are currently in our program are where Felicia is now. Read below to learn more about Felicia's story.

Describe your story of coming to BHI and what it was like to be in our program. I found BHI after reaching out to another program and moved in, in less than two weeks. Deanna Cobb was the Executive Director and she was so kind and so helpful at a time when I needed it most. Julie DeBeneditis was Deanna's assistant and she was also wonderful. At the time, Elizabeth house was in north Arlington across from East Falls Church Metro. It was a beautiful 4 bedroom house with a basement apartment. One mom had the basement apartment and the other mom and I each had our own bedrooms and nurseries across from our bedrooms for our babies. When I arrived, the nursery was all set up with a crib, changing table and even a rocking chair! I was so pleasantly surprised at how welcoming it all was. We had shared responsibility of the house and each did our own cooking. It took me a few weeks to get comfortable living with people I had never met and to feel comfortable enough to ask the staff for help when I needed it. However, I realized very early on that the staff and all of the BHI donors sincerely wanted to help us. I had my son a month after moving into BHI, so BHI was his first home. I received so many well wishes and so much support that it certainly made it easy to adjust to motherhood. Every year up until my son was 5 yrs old, BHI would contact us and invite us to the annual Christmas party. There was always something under the tree for us! Overall, BHI was a wonderful experience that I'll remember for the rest of my life. My son knows all about BHI and how they helped us. We will both be forever grateful for the kindness of the donors and the staff at St. Charles, BHI and Elizabeth House.

How long did you stay at BHI? I lived at BHI for approximately 5 months.

Tell us a little bit about where you and your son are now. Describe what life is like 17 years after being at BHI.---Elizabeth House was such a blessing and was so helpful in establishing my independence. The first few years after leaving BHI, I continued to work hard while focusing primarily on my son and me. I wouldn't trade those times for the world and it has certainly paid off over the years. We are very close and he is a wonderful young man. He'll be 17 next month, is in his senior year of high school and will be heading off to college next summer. He's an athlete and a great student and I couldn't ask for a better son. As for me, I'm married to a wonderful man I met almost 10 yrs ago. We own a home and have been married for 5 yrs.

What was the most important lesson you took away from BHI? The most important lesson that I took away from BHI is that there is no shame in needing a hand as long as you accept the assistance as a means to advance. Anyone can find themselves in a situation where they have to rely on the kindness and generosity of someone else. Be sure to receive with gratitude and to give graciously and without judgement. I never felt judged in my interaction with BHI, even when I felt judged by others.

What advice would you give to the moms in our program today? 1) Take advantage of all of the help that BHI offers, but don't abuse it. When I was at BHI one of my roommates was unfortunately asked to leave for not adhering to the rules of the program. The rules are a very small sacrifice in exchange for what is probably the most assistance that you'll ever receive for you and your child. 2) Be the best mother you can be right now; a change in your financial status or living arrangements will not make you a better mother. Quality time with your child is free and doesn't matter where you live or how much money you make. 3) Be proud of your accomplishments and celebrate them no matter how small ... each step towards your independence is something of which you should be proud.

Meet Jennifer Gajdosik, Borromeo Housing's Job Readiness Specialist

2011-06-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

1. What is a job readiness specialist?

To borrow from Richard Bolles, I help each mom answer the question, “What Color is Your Parachute?” Through assessments, we work together to determine their career interests and strengths - which are not always the same thing! Then we identify career training or education paths that can be completed during their time with BHI and lead to a job that supports a single parent’s childcare needs.

How do you work with the moms to prepare them for what they will face in the working world?

I facilitate employability workshops on topics such as resume writing, networking, and interviewing. Also, the moms practice building their “small-talk” skills by facilitating current events questions among themselves during our meetings. But we have the most fun and learning through role-playing! Since some of the moms are interning, they bring real world situations of workplace experiences to the meetings and ask each other to act out a scenario they experienced. Having seen some of their performances, maybe acting could be a second career!

What have you found to be the most useful tool for your clients when they are looking for or maintaining employment?

NETWORKS! Although it may sound cliché, it is true that most BHI moms have found employment or succeeded in the workplace because of a contact they had made. For example, one mom got a job from a posting on a local moms jobs digest email list, and another got her job through a counselor at the DHS Employment Center, whom she stayed in close touch with. But networks just don’t help you find jobs, they also help you keep them when emergency situations arise. Friends, family members, coworkers, counselors, and volunteers are critical supports when children are too sick to go to daycare, cars break down, or a mom needs to work late on a special project.

Does your relationship with your clients continue after they have found employment?

Of course! Being employed is the beginning of the journey, not the end. Since BHI affords a newly employed mom a few weeks to adjust to her new commute, work demands, and financial security, I check in regularly to brainstorm transportation plans, ways to effectively communicate with supervisors, and how to transition off of public assistance. And it’s never too soon to start thinking about how to leverage the position for bigger and better ones!

What is the most common obstacle your clients face?

I can tell you that it’s not a lack of drive. The moms who come to BHI want VERY much to be self-sufficient for themselves and their children. However, even when they have successfully completed trainings, internships, or degrees they have difficulty getting hired because employers are looking for candidates with paid work experience. They just need someone to take a chance on them!

What is one piece of advice that you give all of your clients?

Dream big, but start small. As the sole provider for her family of 2, a BHI mom does not have the luxury of spending years switching college majors or waiting for that dream job to come along. I encourage each mom to consider a job offer as a stepping stone that meets her short-term goals of being self-sufficient, but still aspire to pursue advanced credentials later when her child is in school, more independent, and not requiring expensive daycare costs.

Describe one of your most rewarding moments

A mom who came to BHI when her son was 5 months old was homeless and unemployed without a degree. After completing a year-long training program and overcoming a number of challenges, she earned a full-time position in a law firm at a livable wage and comes “with benefits”, my two favorite words in the world!

How can people looking to help Borromeo Housing specifically help you or your clients?

It would be helpful for people to keep BHI in mind when an entry-level position opens at their place of work. The moms could certainly benefit from an internal referral for a job they are qualified for. The other challenge employed moms face is back-up childcare. When her child cannot yet make the 24-hour fever free daycare rule or if the daycare is closed, the mom often has to take the day off to care for her child. Missing school or training can cause the moms to fall behind in their studies or be penalized in terms of compensation. We could use a few enthusiastic volunteers to babysit the children at the BHI house during the day as they recover from minor illness or when their childcare providers are closed.

A Day at the Infant Care Supply Center

2011-05-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

Borromeo Housing’s Infant Care Supply Center is a new program designed to help mothers provide the basics for their children, free of cost. We at BHI believe every baby should have a car seat, clean clothing, diapers and wipes, and a safe place to sleep. At our Infant Care Supply Center, mothers struggling in poverty can find resources they need so that more family income can be directed to shelter, food, lights, and education.

One afternoon last week, we had 3 families who received items from our organization. Each family is unique and has a different story. We would like to share one client story with you:

Raquel

Raquel is a sweet young mother in her late twenties. She has two boys, an 18 month old and a 5 year old. She struggles to support her family on her McDonald’s income. Raquel discovered BHI by way of a housing referral when she was facing eviction. Though she did not qualify for our residential program, we offered her supplies for her children and she was elated. She now keeps our phone number programmed in her telephone!

A few days ago Raquel came by on her monthly visit to pick up some spring clothing and a few packages of diapers for her boys. That day we had received a high chair, donated to us from a drive organized by St. Charles School. Raquel saw it in our office and her face lit up with hope. She said she did not have a high chair for her 18 month old son and asked if she could have it. We happily gave her the high chair, then helped her get it and the other smaller baby items she requested out to her car. A brand new high chair from Babies 'R' Us would have cost her anywhere from $80-$200. She can now save that money and use it towards her rent as she continues to live independently as a single mom.

This is just one client’s story. In a single afternoon we help as many as six moms in our community find the things they need to appropriately care for their children. We would not be able to help these families without donations from our supporters like you!

Please consider becoming an active part of this program. We need volunteers to help sort items, bag orders, and deliver packages to families who lack transportation of their own.

Interested in learning how you can support families in need?

"Like" us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
Contact us to find out about our latest volunteer opportunities.
Donate your gently-used baby items to us. We accept clothes sizes Newborn-5T, strollers, pack 'n' plays, and high chairs.
Donate new items such as diapers, wipes, and formula to us. We currently do not have any newborn or size 4 diapers. We are also in need of pull-ups.
Make a monetary donation to help us sustain our organization. Did you know that 80% of our funding comes from private donors like you?

Erica & Haley's Story

2011-04-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

Greetings and welcome back to Borromeo Housing, Inc.’s blog!

Today, we would like to share a very personal story with you. This is a first-hand look at teen parenting from the perspective of one of our residents. Erica has offered her story of progress and success in her words, and we are delighted to share it with you.

Erica & Haley’s Story

My name is Erica and I have a daughter named Haley who is going to be 1 year old this June. I got pregnant when I was 19 years old. Being that I was unmarried and a college student, my family and I were disappointed in the choices my boyfriend and I made. Everyone told me my life was over and that I had to give up my education and career goals if I decided to parent my child. That was certainly not how I had planned my life. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn.

When I found out about my pregnancy I knew that I wanted to keep my baby. I also knew it would be hard work. I faced the challenge of telling my family and friends my news and I had a lot of pressure to give my baby up for adoption. But in my heart, I knew that was not the right choice for me. After much discussion, my parents finally told me that if I kept my daughter, I could not stay at home. At eight months along I was facing homelessness. I started desperately looking for a place to live where my baby and I would be safe, and I could learn how to be a good mom and continue college. I thought that would be impossible to find, but then I learned about Borromeo Housing.

Borromeo Housing is a home and life skills program that provides young single mothers with two years of guidance where mom and baby get the support they need so that moms can learn how to be good mothers and to be independent as they work to finish school. I moved into BHI’s house in August 2010. This program has provided me with not only a safe place for Haley and me to live, but I’ve also gained a lot fantastic support from my peers who understand what I’m going through. The staff at Borromeo Housing guides me through the process of setting and achieving goals that will eventually help me get a place of my own. And they assist me with my parenting skills to ensure Haley is growing right and getting all of the attention she needs.

Before I found out about BHI, I was about to give up on school in order to get a job so I could provide for Haley financially. But after doing some research, I realized that I didn’t have the education or the experience to get a job at a wage that I could afford daycare. I was really stuck until I found BHI. When reading about the program, I was amazed that there was an opportunity for young moms like me who want to focus on my education, rather than barely get by working at minimum wage. When I was accepted into Borromeo Housing, my life changed for the better! Since I moved here I have resumed my education at my college, and repaired my relationship with my family and some of my better friends. Haley’s dad and I have a good co-parenting relationship, and now I know what qualities I am looking for in a spouse.

BHI has taught me that no matter what obstacles come my way, I stay determined to provide a healthy, stable living environment for Haley and myself. The skills that I have gained at Borromeo Housing will help me throughout my life and I am so incredibly thankful for all of the support!

Welcome to Open Doors!

2011-03-02T10:52:00.001-08:00

Welcome to Open Doors, the Borromeo Housing, Inc. blog! We created this blog to give our supporters and community members a way to stay up to date on our programs, to share stories from the “front lines” of our community service, and to give our residents a forum to promote their successes.

In upcoming posts you can expect to read testimonials from BHI staff, behind-the-scenes stories from our residents, and interviews with peer providers. Follow our agency on our dynamic journey as we work to prevent teen pregnancy, answer community needs, and provide supportive services to our adolescent moms.

For those of you who may be new to Borromeo Housing, Inc., let me share an outline of our organization and services.

BHI’s signature program empowers young single mothers to create a self-sustaining future through education, counseling and support, while residing in our safe home. BHI closely monitors the infants of our young mothers to assure the children are parented responsibly, receive appropriate medical care, and meet individual developmental benchmarks. In this way, BHI is determined to present two generations of at-risk youth with alternatives to the perils of neglect, poor education, and inter-generational poverty. BHI believes that all young mothers facing homelessness can achieve an education and professional employment while being responsible parents to their children. BHI offers a quality living environment, nurturing support and a disciplined framework to young mothers who are motivated and capable of using our services to achieve their goals.

Currently, our residential program provides a safe and stable living environment for 8 young women and their children. Unlike traditional shelter programs, our group home is located on a quiet, residential street. Our home is lined with a white picket fence, discretely marked with small, gold plaques engraved with the names and messages of support from some of our wonderful donors. Inside the space is warm and inviting! In addition to our home off of Columbia Pike, we also rent two recently-renovated two-bedroom apartments, which comfortably meet the needs of 4 other mothers and their children. These units are typically reserved for families who have outgrown the house, but who need an additional step before transitioning to independent living.

NEW in 2010-- Borromeo Housing’s Infant Care Supply Center: Early in 2009, BHI staff recognized the need to provide young mothers on our waiting list, and those ineligible for our residential care program, with supplies these moms needed to adequately prepare for and care for their new babies. We piloted the Borromeo Housing Infant Care Supply Center in 2010, and have grown this grassroots program into a fully-funded, data-gathering endeavor in 2011. Because of all the kind donations our supporters have donated to the Infant Care Supply Center, over the last year BHI has provided more than 120 families with diapers, car seats, clothing, and other infant care supplies, free of cost!

Thank you for stopping by and please be sure to subscribe for the latest news from Borromeo Housing. Coming in March—a testimonial from one of our program graduates!